The Price We Pay for Love

Dealing with grief is part of being human. There are the major griefs that change the course of our lives, and the smaller griefs that may seem insignificant to others but still leave an empty space behind.

We grieve people. We grieve pets. We can grieve the loss of a treasured possession, a relationship, a home, a dream, or even a version of ourselves that no longer exists.

It is impossible to move through life without experiencing grief.

This past week, I experienced the loss of a beloved pet. Winston was deeply attached to me, and I was deeply attached to him.

He was a rescue who had been traumatized before he came to us, and sometimes he acted out that trauma.

He could be incredibly sweet and docile—and he could turn on a stranger in a hot minute. That was Winston. Complicated, funny, wounded, loving, and very much his own little soul.

We loved him. And we miss him a great deal.

What surprised me was how losing Winston opened the door to so many other losses.

Grief has a way of doing that.

One loss can bring back the memory of another. Suddenly, I found myself thinking about family members and friends I have lost over the years. People I still think about every day. People I still miss, even though years may have passed.

It reminded me that grief doesn't necessarily disappear. We learn how to carry it. It changes shape. It becomes less sharp. Life grows around it. And then something happens—a death, a song, a photograph, an empty chair, the absence of a dog who used to follow you from room to room—and there it is again.

Maybe that isn't something we need to fix.

Maybe grief is simply evidence that someone mattered.

We hurt because we were attached. We miss because we loved. The depth of our grief often reflects the depth of the bond that came before it.

There is no life without loss. But there is also no grief without first having had something—or someone— worth loving.

Grief is the price we pay for love. When our attachments end, our pain begins. But the love that created that attachment doesn't end with the loss. We carry it with us.

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Reflection Questions:

• How has carrying past grief shifted or changed shape for you over time?

  
  

• What is a small memory or reminder that unexpectedly brings a past loss right back to the surface for you?

  
  

• Is there something in your past that you need to grieve? Could it be a relationship that ended, an unfulfilled dream, or the loss of something? All grief is not about death.                                                                                                                

• Do you find it difficult to let yourself grieve?  If so, ask yourself what is stopping you from allowing yourself to feel this emotion.

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